Choose. (Part II)

I recently went through a bad breakup. I realize now what made it even more difficult is that it was protracted, for several reasons. And I realize that my self-esteem was adversely affected, and my spirit was nearly crushed – not as much by the dissolution of the relationship, as by the perceived coldness. Some of the things said and done during that long stretch … Continue reading Choose. (Part II)

Life.

It’s the 26th week of the year. We’re officially halfway through 2021. Wow. The hours, days, and weeks are truly flying by. When I relaunched my blog at the top of the year, I had a plan to post weekly. On a schedule. Like clockwork. But I quickly realized that this approach felt contrived. Disingenuous. I have to write as things come to me, touch me. … Continue reading Life.

Acceptance.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” Probably one of the most duplicated, recited, and recognizable pleas. A short, simple prayer. Full of intention and power. In writing the “Serenity Prayer,” author Rev. Reinhold Neibuhr seemed to be seeking calm and peace. Him and I have that in common.  … Continue reading Acceptance.

Clarity.

clar·i·ty/ˈklerədē/noun the quality of being coherent and intelligible; the quality of transparency or purity. In academic and professional settings, I’ve always been labeled as “smart” and “having a way with words.” Oration. Writing. Punchlines. But still. Intelligence and apt expression haven’t made my life a crystal stair. Because a crystal stair is clear. And my life has been murky. Like the Delta River. Mississippi side. … Continue reading Clarity.

Love.

I was disillusioned. And I was “over” how things were going. The trajectory was inconsistent. The path was rocky for years. There were things I expected from our partnership (or didn’t expect but now realize that I should have). There were things I wanted, needed, deserved. But I still didn’t get. And I know he pretty much felt the same. Somewhere in between entering our 30s, parenthood, … Continue reading Love.

Feel.

Some say grief is the final act of love. I’ve heard others characterize it as “love with nowhere to go.” I’ve understood – and experienced – grief in both ways. I overstand now that grief is proof of life. Proof that love once lived and remains after a transition has taken place. You might not be able to actualize the love in the same way, … Continue reading Feel.

Losses.

As I sit up, awakened by my own mind at five-something in the morning, I think “I thought these days were over.” Progress still. At least it’s not three or four. No matter how many positive vibes and how much good energy I conjure, everything isn’t always going to be “that.” There has to be balance. Duality. Two sides to the coin. And no matter … Continue reading Losses.

Gratitude

grat·i·tude/ˈɡradəˌt(y)o͞od/nounthe quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. I had gotten to be quite spoiled. It’s a state of being I’m familiar with. As an only child, I’ve had my share of “not having to share,” ease, and everything being about me. Then the hard times came. And I got older. Old enough where I could make my own … Continue reading Gratitude