Roles Redefined

I believe in roles — I’m just not a huge fan of rigid, gender-based ones (especially in relationships). Someone argued to me that these roles are nature. No, having a penis or a vagina is nature. What we learn about what people with those parts are able to/should do is nurture.

Little girls can play basketball and boys can be gymnasts. If my man is better at making a dish than me, he can cook it and if the trash is stankin’ up the house, I know how to get it up out of there. Simple enough, but many of us didn’t see it play out like this growing up.

Nowadays, though, the lifestyles of women in terms of career and other commitments outside of the home show that “communicate + collaborate” is much more practical than “girl jobs” and “boy jobs” around the house.

The notion of women staying home? Well, I’ll put it this way — if a man and woman agree it’s best for their family that the woman stays home, I fully support that. And vice versa. I hope when I have kids, my financial situation allows me to stay home for a while. I can’t see it being a lifelong thing, though.

I don’t understand why a woman who went to college, or is otherwise trained in a field or trade, would forego her God-given talents and skills to rear children and keep house. That screams “barefoot and pregnant” to me.

Now, if you’re working from home (entrepreneur, writer, etc.) that’s different. I just feel like I’d get fat and bored really fast if I wasn’t out and about making a living.

It may be some women’s dream to stay home while there man brings home the bacon. Excuse my cynicism, but I was always taught that whoever has the bacon, has the power.

I don’t even eat bacon anymore but I do enjoy money and no matter how much I love or trust someone, I don’t feel comfortable having no income as a grown woman.

Oh, I can picture the jabs made during arguments now. “You’re pissing me off — no allowance this week!” or “Chick, you don’t run nothing around here.” Nope, not having it!

Even if I have to check receipts at Wal-Mart or dress up like the Statue of Liberty and spin signs by the highway, ya girl has to have her own. Being disabled or on maternity leave, that’s one thing. A lifetime of being dependent “just because?” — no thanks. Maybe it’s the Leo in me but I expect so much more from myself. I like to get my shine on, too.

I know being a great mother and homemaker is hard work and deserves many accolades but my observations over the years indicate acclaim for these jobs typically only come one Sunday in May.

Yes, I know there is “something” in women that makes us more domestic and nurturing bu is there anything sexier than a man who can do everything for his kids that their mom can? Doubt it. Gotta love a man who can give a house a thorough cleaning. That means he takes pride in the place he calls home. Oh, yeah, push that broom baby 😉

The contrary has been suggested to me, though. Apparently if I don’t conform to gender roles, no decent man will want to marry me. Oh, word? Cause I’ve heard a song or two suggesting a woman who does her thing outside of the house was a hot commodity.

Drake NeYoStuck in a time-warp, are we? Much respect to the 1950s, but in a world where women work as hard outside of the house as men do, there needs to be more parity for household tasks.

I want my future daughters to know that they can bring home the bacon and cook it because they’re awesome like that. I also want them to know they should look for a partner who is both supportive and accommodating of whatever “roles” they choose to take on. Not to mention, all of their suitors should be comfortable rockin’ construction boots, a three-piece suit and an apron.


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