Good-looking women are often stereotyped as conceited. Unfortunate. This stereotype creates something of an “expectation” of conceit. And often, acceptance follows expectation.
Some of my down-to-Earth friends associate with pompous people — much to my chagrin. Naturally, the pretentious persons in question are usually women. And although I am no fan of arrogance, I can somewhat deal.
Now let’s talk about what I can’t deal with.
We all know a few. Men who think they are the epitome of manhood and perfection personified. Oh, these creatures. They walk around with their heads in the clouds and up their arses at the same time — a feat to stand in awe of, indeed. How do they do it?
Well, that is a mystery that will remain one. I don’t know how they do it but I know why they do it — EGO.
Such a man has been told he’s fine” by his mom, grandma, aunties, neighbors and teachers since he ‘strutted’ down the birth canal. He has had women falling all over him since Pre-K. It was around that same time that other guys either started sucking up to him or plotting on his downfall — and he ate it all up like Thanksgiving Dinner.
In an alternate scenario, the guy starts out as an ugly duckling who isn’t very popular in school. He has a few close friends and a girlfriend or two but that’s about it. Either in high school or college (usually the latter), he reinvents himself. Things get ugly — quick. Not used to being really successful and popular, he gets hooked on his newfound glory and BAM — egomaniac!
As stated in Part I of the Male Ego, everyone has an ego. And I will add that depending on circumstance or situation, it can be both useful and necessary, alluring and sexy.
However, everything has its time and place. One’s ego does not need to be unleashed, full-force, 365.
When I think of the ideal man, I think of a man who is self-assured and confident but also humble and gracious. He knows that he’s the sh*t to the point that he doesn’t need to make self-indulgent statements all the damn time (think Jay-Z vs. Kanye).
This man does not need to put down or look down on others who can’t, or choose not to, match him tic-for-tac in terms of physique, fashion, finances, etc. He simply feels content and blessed because of all the great things he has going for himself.
This guy elevates others because he knows that the light of others won’t steal any shine from him — he’s THAT good!
I can’t stand the guy who uses every social gathering as an opportunity to brag on what he has and what he’s doing. If he’s not doing that, he’s laying out his “standards” of fine dining and apparel. Worst of all is when he goes into painstaking detail about all the criteria a woman must meet “to be his lady.”
That, friends, is a post for another day.
In the meantime, I suggest the next time a male friend of a friend starts droning on and on about how great he is, you wait until he pauses to catch his breath, wrinkle your forehead, look him dead in the eye and say, “But who asked you, though?”